My housemates are in the living room right now having a conversation about prayer. The one girl is saying that the purpose of prayer is not just to ask for whatever suits your fancy. The other person retorts by saying, "But Jesus said, 'ask and it will be given unto you.'" So who is right? I think the former is. And I don't think my story quite supports that argument, but I can't always be relevant.
I can't remember what day it was, but for the past week or two I've been waking up early to study. I always go downstairs because one of the other girls is always falling asleep in the living room. Naturally, I was a little annoyed the find the downstairs room occupied one day. I was tempted to get into an argument, saying that boys aren't even supposed to stay overnight, but then I paused. I think in that brief moment God calmed my heart and told me "You don't need to study right now. You need to spend some time with me." And it's true. When my discipler left two years ago, my main prayer request was for school to never become an idol to me again. For most of the semester it isn't. But once finals time rolls around, God just becomes the estranged father that sends the child support money every month. I still read my Bible, but it's half-hearted. I still pray, but it's rushed. So finally that morning I had some quality time with God. And it was good, so good. Yesterday morning, I still wasn't feeling ready for my exams. Who knows, maybe with that extra half hour I could have done better. Probably not though.
So Monday morning I asked God for a mini-miracle. I asked him to just help me pass this class (with a C.. haha). That shows you just how unprepared I felt for that exam. But it wasn't just about the grade. It meant something. For me, to do poorly in a class would be to dishonor my parents. Don't get me wrong. My parents have never said that their love is contingent on my grades. They've actually told me that sometimes they think I work too much and I should take it easy-- that one C is really okay with them. The reason I say that it would be dishonoring my parents is because God has gifted me with a decent head on my shoulders. If I'm not doing well in school, it most likely means I'm not working hard enough. If I'm not putting in the time and effort, then I'm totally disregarding and being ungrateful for the fact that my parents are paying for my education. I wanted the grade not for my pride, but for my parents. So I threw a prayer up and God sent some peace down.
We got our scores back today. I got a B for the class. I've never been happy with a B average before. But with this one I am and wholeheartedly thankful. It wasn't my effort because that definitely wouldn't have cut it. God's grace is sufficient.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:9-12
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