34/52 it's not lupus

In all my travels, I've encountered plenty for suffering that broke my heart-- women enslaved by the sex industry, children being manipulated for profit. But this week was probably the first time I had such a heart-wrenching experience in the states. For the past few days, I've been rounding in the children's psychiatric unit. It seemed like every case is worse than the last.

There's so much talk about what is wrong with this generation. And after this week, I'm convinced that one of-- if not the-- major contributor to my generation's problems is the previous generation. One 12-year old hit the nail square on the head. "I just want my parents to be my parents and stop trying to be my friends." Maybe our problem is not that tiger moms exist, but that there aren't enough of them.

But I suspect that the problem runs deeper than bad parenting. I suspect the poor parenting arises from the human penchant to seek the easy way out. It's easier to be friends with your child than it is to be their parent. It's easier to smile and play with them than it is to put your foot down and teach them the value of discipline.

Unfortunately the problem doesn't end there. As a future professional drug dealer, I'm probably not supposed to say this. But I can't help but feel that we're doing more harm than good. I can't but feel that we're too quick to pull the trigger and tag a diagnosis code on these poor kids. Maybe it was just the attending. Maybe it's not as bad everywhere else. But that's rather unlikely. During one morning meeting I nearly burst out, "It's not PTSD. She's been through a traumatic experience, but that doesn't mean she's scarred forever. She doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria." I'm sure that 9 out of 10 or even 99 out of 100 kids that go through what that little girl went through end up with PTSD or some other psychiatric disorder. But this was the most intelligent, insightful 10-year old I've ever met. If I'd never read her history, I'd have thought she had somehow wandered into the unit. One of the regular nurses felt the same. And yet the doctor wanted to put her on quetiapine. To my relief, the father refused.

It seems like we're also looking for the easy way out. Pop this pill and everything will be just fine. There's no question. The drugs do help. But are they our best option? Or are they going to harm these kids in the long run? Smart philanthropists say we shouldn't just pass out food to the hungry; we should equip them with the skills to meet their own needs. Why do we then take such a different approach to mental health? Yes, there are cases where no amount of counseling is going to help. But if there is the possibility to teach them self-sufficiency rather than substance dependence, shouldn't that be our first option?