I heard this song on the radio today for the first time in maybe years. It reminded me of why I used to like Avalon so much. I can't remember if I heard it on the way to church or on the way home, but either way the timing couldn't have been any better-- in light of today's sermon and the upcoming missions trip.
Today Pastor Tim talked about being filled with the Holy Spirit. Along with this song, it made me really want to live a life that is noticeably Christ-centered. The first verse definitely applies to me, but the second verse really hit home.
We're living in uncertain times
More and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I wanna tell the world I've found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know, that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus so that someone else might see that He is everything...
There aren't very many other words I could write that could encapsulate the feeling-- the deep yearning in my heart. The lyrics already convey the core of the message, but when you listen to the song, you come so close to a complete understanding of the feeling.
But with this in mind, I am reminded of the times I've fallen short. There have been times when God has literally placed an open door right in front of me and I have refused to go through it.
People tend to forget that I didn't always live on Busch last year. And sure, I say that I liked it more, but it was a mistake. And quite possibly sinful. I remember talking to one of my friends from church about a week or so before I moved out of my room on College Ave. He quipped, "You know, sometimes we joke that you're there to save her." By her, he meant my roommate. We'd gone to the same church for years. He said it was a joke, but a part of me knew that they were also serious-- or at least should have been. I think it was then that I realized I wasn't supposed to move. And at that point, I don't think I wanted to move either. Then a couple days before I was supposed to move out, my dad asked me if I was sure I wanted to move. That should have been the nail in the coffin. He hadn't wanted me to live with my roommate in the first place. I should have called it off then, but my pride wouldn't let me. I shouldn't have been so hard-hearted. I shouldn't have moved out. I'm sorry.
I know God alone can change hearts, but the thoughts I have when I reflect on my freshman year are not the ones I want when I come home from Thailand. Having been reminded of all that Jesus is to me, I couldn't bear the knowledge that I withheld the message of hope and salvation because I was too proud, or too fearful, or anything that stems from not being fully surrendered to God.
I grew up in Sunday school
I memorized the Golden Rule
Little Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about the path that led him up to Calvary
But ask me why he loves me
and I don't know what to say
But I'll never be the same because
He changed my life when he became
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than a page of history
He's the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
Oh he's everything
We're living in uncertain times
More and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I wanna tell the world I've found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know, that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying just to give my heart away
I want to live for Jesus so that someone else can see that He's
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than a page of history
He's the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
Oh he's everything
And looking back over my life at end
I'm gonna meet You and say that "you've been everything to me..."
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