post-Urbana reflections [part one]

There is too much for me to say about Urbana in one reasonably sized entry, so I am going to break it all up into small, bite-sized posts. I want to share my thoughts on worship first, because worship-- or lack thereof-- is the primary reason for missions.

I have to admit, after going to the JAMA conference last year, I was expecting some pretty awesome worship with lots of songs that I knew and enjoyed singing. Then the worship team started singing in what sounded like some tribal chant and I was like, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! $^&&*^%$!!" For the first two days, my heart was not in it at all. It wasn't until we had "Asian American" worship (yes, it was as ridiculous as it sounds) that I really got into worship. And it was in that moment that I realized how sinful I was being. Worship never should have been about my personal preferences or my preconceived notions for how worship "should" be. It finally struck me how joyful and wonderful it is to be able to praise the God of the universe. That night, I was finally able to delight in praising God through the African and Latin American songs. Even though I still wasn't used to the style and it still felt a bit awkward to dance, I got a small taste of what heaven is probably like. But in the midst of all that joy, there were moments when sharp pains would run through my heart as I thought of the billions that had never experienced worship and possibly never would. I wanted those countless individuals to experience intimacy with the only true and almighty, yet perfectly loving God. I wanted them to know that same joy. It didn't become official then, but I think in that moment I knew what I ultimately wanted to do with my life.

Praise the LORD!
Sing to the LORD a new song,
his praise in the assembly of the godly!
Let Israel be glad in his Maker;
let the children of Zion rejoice in their King!
Let them praise his name with dancing,
making melody to him with tambourine and lyre!
For the LORD takes pleasure in his people;
he adorns the humble with salvation.
Let the godly exult in glory;
let them sing for joy on their beds.
-Psalm 149:1-5