for so long I've wasted this life you've given me

Role reversals seem to happen quite frequently in my life, and most of the time they teach me a little more about myself, or other people, or just life in general. Yesterday my tutoring session was ending and my student asked how I had done in expos. I explained that I'd gotten mostly A's and then B+'s on everything else, and then she asked a question that struck me: "And you're JUST doing pharmacy?" That's what she said, but the implication was, why aren't you an English major? I think that was the first time I realized or verbally admitted that I love writing. Too bad I never write anything with any utility.

And if I am being completely honest, then I can't say that I don't know the answer to her question. Yes, ever since grade school I've known that I wanted a job that would daily necessitate my helping other people. But if you want the dirty truth, then my main reason for studying pharmacy is one that no one in their right mind would admit in our interview to enter the professional years: job stability and financial security.

Drugs don't excite me. Bleeding red ink all over a paper (even my own) excites me. Writing analytical compositions excites me. Sadly, though, it's just not practical to obtain a degree in English. But since when do passions need to be practical or rational? After all, isn't it that inexplicable infatuation that makes our passions worth pursuing?

God only knows why some people actually look up to me, but I hope that in this respect (and all my other vices) that you are nothing like me. Don't be afraid to chase your dreams. Pay no attention to the plethora of self-help books about how to be "successful," where the measure of success has a dollar sign attached. It doesn't matter if you have enough money to check off 99% of the experiences on your personal bucket list if the one thing you miss is the only thing that will make your life feel complete.


"You only get just one time around. You only get one shot at this, one chance to find out the one thing that you don't want to miss. One day when it's all said and done, I hope you see that it was enough"

-33miles