the Reason for the season

My brother and I have reached that age where we don’t ask our parents for anything at Christmas anymore. Yet for the past few years, Christmas has been as full and joyful as I can ever remember. Of course, I don’t even remember last Christmas. But I do remember an extended period in my life when the entire holiday season was overcast with a dark cloud. 
Gift giving is a wonderful way to show love. Few things give as much pleasure as seeing your loved one’s face light up as they unwrap a carefully thought out present. (Or in the case of my dad, as they scowl because he seriously thought a farmer’s almanac would be a fantastic gift.) But it still misses the point of Christmas.

So does spending time with your loved ones.

Yes, we should focus more on friends and family than on the gifts, but even that view isn’t quite on point. The essence of Christmas is that the greatest gift we ever received was not something or someones, but Someone. All those Christmases ago, Mary and Joseph, the wise men, the shepherds, they weren’t celebrating because they were happy to be with each other. They were celebrating because they were with the One. The One that was going to set us free. The One that left a perfect heavenly dwelling to enter a broken world. On that night, they weren’t focusing on one another— they were fixated on baby Jesus.
Remember the Reason for the season. It’s not presents. It’s also not about just any presence. It’s about God’s presence.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a great light has dawned. -Isaiah 9:2

34/52 it's not lupus

In all my travels, I've encountered plenty for suffering that broke my heart-- women enslaved by the sex industry, children being manipulated for profit. But this week was probably the first time I had such a heart-wrenching experience in the states. For the past few days, I've been rounding in the children's psychiatric unit. It seemed like every case is worse than the last.

There's so much talk about what is wrong with this generation. And after this week, I'm convinced that one of-- if not the-- major contributor to my generation's problems is the previous generation. One 12-year old hit the nail square on the head. "I just want my parents to be my parents and stop trying to be my friends." Maybe our problem is not that tiger moms exist, but that there aren't enough of them.

But I suspect that the problem runs deeper than bad parenting. I suspect the poor parenting arises from the human penchant to seek the easy way out. It's easier to be friends with your child than it is to be their parent. It's easier to smile and play with them than it is to put your foot down and teach them the value of discipline.

Unfortunately the problem doesn't end there. As a future professional drug dealer, I'm probably not supposed to say this. But I can't help but feel that we're doing more harm than good. I can't but feel that we're too quick to pull the trigger and tag a diagnosis code on these poor kids. Maybe it was just the attending. Maybe it's not as bad everywhere else. But that's rather unlikely. During one morning meeting I nearly burst out, "It's not PTSD. She's been through a traumatic experience, but that doesn't mean she's scarred forever. She doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria." I'm sure that 9 out of 10 or even 99 out of 100 kids that go through what that little girl went through end up with PTSD or some other psychiatric disorder. But this was the most intelligent, insightful 10-year old I've ever met. If I'd never read her history, I'd have thought she had somehow wandered into the unit. One of the regular nurses felt the same. And yet the doctor wanted to put her on quetiapine. To my relief, the father refused.

It seems like we're also looking for the easy way out. Pop this pill and everything will be just fine. There's no question. The drugs do help. But are they our best option? Or are they going to harm these kids in the long run? Smart philanthropists say we shouldn't just pass out food to the hungry; we should equip them with the skills to meet their own needs. Why do we then take such a different approach to mental health? Yes, there are cases where no amount of counseling is going to help. But if there is the possibility to teach them self-sufficiency rather than substance dependence, shouldn't that be our first option?

33/53 everything sad is going to come untrue

There is something bittersweet about the sunrise. It breaks through the darkness of night and ushers in a brand new day. But then the realization hits. It's a new day, but nothing has changed, not in any significant way. Kids are still dying from hunger. People everywhere are still starving for love. Night is going to come again.

Yet this week instead of reflecting on all that is wrong and broken in our world, I couldn't help but think of Sam Gamgee asking Gandalf, "Is everything sad going to come untrue?" Not quite, but close.

Everything broken is going to be made new. And it will never be broken again. Everything will one day be as God intended it to be.

"'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!'...There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 21:3-5a, 22:5

32/52 we desire pleasure too little

After three years of not wanting to quit pharmacy school, I've finally received my mom's blessing to do so. I love her to death. I know she loves me and wants what is best for me. But it kills me that after all these years she doesn't get it.  

A few years ago, she tried to get me to read Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now. I refused. Finally out of curiosity I downloaded the audiobook and gave it a chance. As I listened, I couldn't help but recall the very astute words of CS Lewis [emphasis added]:

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not to strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when INFINITE JOY is offered to us, like an ignorant child, who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Mr. Osteen's techniques and perspective shifts promise to propel you to a life of happiness and wealth. But whatever his book promises is so much less than what God actually promises. The best is not to come in this life. In fact, 1 Timothy 3:12 tells us that everyone who wants to live a godly life will be persecuted. But 2 Cor. 4:17 promises us that "this light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." Let that sink in my friends. The eternal weight of glory. Far beyond all comparison. There are so many other verses you could quote. But there is one common thread. Our treasure is not in this world. We do not live for the pleasures of this life. Because one day it will pass. Our treasure is Christ. He is better. And he will reign 

Parents, please let this be what you encourage your kids to pursue. Do not keep pushing them to live for this world. Because if they come to realize their best life now, they may miss out on the infinitely better eternal life that is to come.  

31/52 one way street

The other day I read an article in Relevant magazine entitled "20 things to know before you're 30."
Number two on the list:

Say no to one-way friendships.

I have a ways to go before I hit the big 3-0, but I hope this never makes the list of life lessons I've learned. Why? Because I think it's totally inconsistent with the faith we claim to profess.

Jesus left us with the commandment "Love one another as I have loved you." How then could we dare sever the ties of one-way relationships? There was no more lop-sided love than God's love for us. He stepped down from the highest throne in heaven to dwell amongst the lowest on earth. He washed the feet of the one who would betray him with a kiss. He looked with love on the one that would deny him thrice before the end of night. He gave his life for the very ones who nailed him to a tree.

There was and is no greater love than this. Few things stir our hearts as unrequited love does, because we see in the lover the purest of loves. It exists not for the merits of or due to expectation of anything from the beloved. It exists simply for the sake of the beloved. To bring joy to the beloved. Yes, of course love hopes for mutual affection. But true love endures in spite of continued indifference or even outright rejection. It "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

So, no, do not say no to one-way friendships. Say no to conditional friendship. Love is not quid pro quo.

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them."-Jesus

30/52

Every year for the past six years, I've thought it would be my last year playing club tennis. Everyone told me pharmacy school was going to get harder and I'd only have time to study, sleep, and eat-- in that order. Maybe it did get harder. But it was never that time-consuming monster everyone said it'd be. "I don't have time" never became an excuse because it's lame. I don't believe it.
People try to use it for more important things than tennis. Too busy to go to church. Too busy to spend time with loved ones. For most people, it simply isn't true. If there's time in life for merely recreational pleasures, there's surely time for  the truly important things and people in our lives.

29/52 work in progress

All great art is the product of long, meticulous hours. Layer is laid upon layer until the canvas finally yields a coherent image. Bit by bit, small pieces are painstakingly chipped away until finally the masterpiece emerges from the once formless block. I unfortunately have never possessed the patience necessary to produce a quality work of art. I'm the kind of person that would try to repaint a room without first using primer. At a glance, everything seems fine. But even under a little more scrutiny, the imperfections become obvious. You can't rush a work in progress.

And yet so often we look for the fast track to change. Be a better you in 30 days. Transform your body in 90. But nothing worth having comes easy.

I've often wondered why God never effected a drastic, rapid change in me. Thankfully, His wisdom is far beyond ours. God is not tempted to rush. He works in ways that we can't always understand. We can't always see the larger picture unfolding, but the final image has already been composed in His mind. When it is complete, it will be glorious beyond our wildest imagination.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Cor. 3:18